What am I supposed to be?
This questions has caused me more trouble than I care to admit. I never felt a strong pull toward what “I am supposed to be”. I’ve joked recently with people my age and older that we still don’t know what we want to be when we grow up. I imagine we’ll figure out one day.
For the last several months, and maybe from the beginning of this blog, my blog has been asking the same question. The focus for my blog has meandered from family to ministry to leadership. It’s tried to balance between personal anecdotes and lessons or devotionals for a more general public. The poor little blog is even torn between whether to be spiritual or technological in nature. Talk about an identity crisis.
After giving it much thought, my blog is not suffering from an identity crisis. My blog is suffering from being too much like its creator: me. As many of us experience, my life is a balancing act between competing agendas. I am simultaneously an individual consumed with my own wants and desires as well as a parent/husband/church leader whose primary responsibility is for the care for others. I am pulled between things I want to do and things I need to do. I walk daily in the gray area between the spiritual and the physical. Throw in a little bit of ADD, infrequent bouts of fatigue and depression, and an ability to be amused and entertained by things that others consider silly and you’ve got the makings for one random life.
As such, I have decided what this blog is supposed to be. As narcissistic as it may sound, this blog is about me. It is about my challenges and my triumphs. It is about my successes and failures. It is about my attempt to do the best I can to make it through this world that we live in without messing things up too badly. That walk includes lessons God is teaching me and will include other characters that share the stage of life with me. Sometimes those lessons will have a broad focus and sometimes narrow. The characters may be friends, family, or strangers. One thing this blog will not be is fake. You’ll get the real Brad, and hopefully you’ll find him a little charming.
Thanks for sharing this journey with me!