Posts Tagged 'acu'

I came to an incredible realization while at Abilene Christian University for my practical skills and theory class.  Well, at least it was incredible to me. I’ve lamented here frequently that I get frustrated with “church” and how little it looks like what the New Testament says it should.  I’ve whined and moaned a little, but mostly I’ve tried to be open and honest and searching.  The realization at ACU had to do with getting the very heart of the matter that I was dealing with.  As with any problem, it’s hard to deal with it before you name it, and last week I got a name for my problem.

Some time back I did a series of posts on the book FireStorm: Preventing and Overcoming Church Conflict by Ron Susek.  In that series, I discuss Susek’s belief that church conflict is generated in some degree by unmet expectations in key areas of leadership.  When expectations are unmet, especially in the areas of truth, relationships, integrity, and mission, dead branches of kindling build up just waiting for the right spark to set the church ablaze in conflict.  It may seem sort of elementary, but unmet expectations in any area can lay the ground work for conflict to build later.

Now, tie into this something else that I, personally, have struggled with.  I pursued a graduate level study in conflict in a major way because everywhere I went there seemed to be conflict.  One of my mentors has compared me to an abused spouse that subconsciously seeks out dysfunctional relationships that are more likely to lead to abuse.  I thought I was being humble when I sarcastically remarked that “I couldn’t figure out what the constant is in all these conflicts”, insinuating it was ME that was the conflict.  In a recent lunch with one of my co-ministers, Rubel Shelly, he responded to that by saying, “You’re far too arrogant.  Those conflict existed long before you got there.”  I laughed so hard I choked on my chips and salsa.

Here’s what I figured out.  My problem in not with individuals in multiple locations, although that is part of it.  My problem is not with some systemic dysfunction that seems to plague Churches of Christ in particular, although that is definitely a contributing factor.  My problem is with unmet expectations.  My conflict, in and of itself, transcends people and place and is actually with the unmet expectations that lie between the “concept” of church and the “practice” of church.

I know this sort of sounds like I’m repeating something simple, but this was a deep revelation to me for two reasons.  First, it allows me to realize that those unmet expectations, while in a way are everyone’s fault, are definitely no one person’s fault in particular.  In fact, the gap between “concept” and “practice” is wide enough and long standing enough that it works against anyone that wants to actively change it.  People like myself that try to insert themselves into unhealthy systems are run over and trampled, not by people but by the system itself.  Similar to the GM internal memo (thanks Jim Martin for the source) by Elmer Johnson that was quoted in the New York Times, “We have vastly underestimated how deeply ingrained are the cultural rigidities that hamper our ability to execute.” Understanding this allows me to step back to a bigger picture place and extend grace to everyone that is unknowingly, or perhaps knowingly, being pushed along by the system. (Thanks Joey Cope for the lecture on reverence!)

Second, I realized that I don’t have a good understanding of where the expectations are not being met.  It’s one thing to say, “We’re doing something wrong.”  It’s an entirely different thing to say, “Here’s what we’re doing wrong.”  One is empowering (knowledge), while another only promotes unhealthy cycles of conflict (ignorance).  Getting to the heart of the matter (striving for transcendence) is key in solving the problems.  The great thing about this understanding is that it gives me a handle on my issue and a starting point to working through it.

So, where do I go next with my understanding?  First and foremost, I’ve decided to do a detailed study of the theology of church.  I need to know what the standard is before I can understand where the expectations are not being met.  I imagine this study could take years and years, but I think I’ll start to gain insight fairly quickly.  This will be the context for a majority of my blog entries over the coming weeks and months, so you’ll have an idea of what to expect.

I’ll leave you with a real life story that I experienced this week that is sort of my personal theme as I begin this study.  I’ll try to hide as many details as possible, but the power of the situation should be evident (it was to me or I wouldn’t be posting it, now would I?). I spoke this week with a ministry leader that had a 15-20 minute presenation they wanted to make during an upcoming Sunday a.m. worship assembly.  After discussing it with another co-minister, we suggested we could replace the sermon that week and just have this presentation.  One of the workers in the ministry that is making the presentation came to me and the following conversation ensued:

Worker: Are we really going to cancel the sermon for our worship service?
Me: I suppose we could.  What would be wrong with it?
Worker: There’s just something about that that I’m not comfortable with at all.
Me:  Why do we have a sermon on Sunday morning anyway?
Worker: Tradition?
Me: There’s just something about that that I’m not comfortable with at all.
Worker: I guess I just walked into that one.
Me: I think we both did.

Thanks for joining me on what might be a great journey. Please be prayful for me as I seek to understand God’s desire for church, both mine and yours, and for my life in the church.

I’m writing this blog entry because I’m stalling on getting into my grad school work. It happens to everyone, and is typically called “senioritis” in a setting where those in their last few months of an education program. The current class has had some additional technological and organization challenges that has made it more difficult to bond with, but I should be able to over come that much easier than I am.

I have about two weeks left in this grad school course. Then I have a one week class on ACUs campus, then another 7 week class at the end of the summer. I also have to finish up my practicum, but that shouldn’t be too difficult. Basically, I’m looking at 10 weeks of classwork before I’m finished with my master’s degree in Conflict Resolution and Reconciliation.

I just wish I could get going. Not sure what else to say about it. I’m just sort of out of gas.